In January, Terry Wayne Ward of DeMotte, Indiana, passed away at the age of 71. As is often the case, his daughter wrote his obituary. What’s a little unusual, however, is that it was so funny that it went viral. Here are some of the highlights:
The obituary stated that Terry had “escaped this mortal realm” and left behind “32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse.” His wife was described as “overly patient and accepting.”
The obituary also read: “Terry graduated from Thornridge High School in South Holland, IL, where only three of his teachers took an early retirement after having had him as a student. He met the love of his life, Kathy, by telling her he was a lineman – he didn’t specify early on that he was a lineman for the phone company, not the NFL. Still, Kathy and Terry wed in the fall of 1969, perfectly between the Summer of Love and the Winter of Regret.
“He retired from AT&T (formerly Ameritech, formerly formerly Indiana Bell) after 39 years of begrudging service, where he accumulated roughly 3,000 rolls of black electrical tape during the course of his career (which he used for everything from open wounds to ‘Don’t use this button’ covers).”
Terry was described as enjoying many, many things, including “hunting, fishing, golfing, snorkeling, ABBA, hiking Turkey Run, chopping wood, shooting guns, Bed Bath & Beyond, starlight mints, cold beer, free beer, The History Channel, CCR, war movies, discussing who makes the best pizza, the Chicago White Sox, old Buicks and, above all, his family.”
“He was a renowned distributor of popsicles and ice cream sandwiches to his grandchildren. He also turned on programs such as Phineas and Ferb for his grand-young’uns, usually when they were actually there. He despised ‘uppity foods’ like hummus, which his family lovingly called ‘bean dip’ for his benefit, which he loved consequently. He couldn’t give a damn about most material things, and automobiles were never to be purchased new. He never owned a personal cell phone and he had zero working knowledge of the Kardashians. Terry died knowing that The Blues Brothers was the best movie ever, (young) Clint Eastwood was the baddest-ass man on the planet, and hot sauce can be added to absolutely any food.”
What a wonderful bond this father and daughter must have had, that she was comfortable writing such a humorous and detailed obituary. You may not have a gift for writing to equal Terry’s daughter Jeanne Lahm, but you can write a meaningful obituary that allows your loved one’s personality to shine through.
At Evergreen Mortuary, we’ve been serving families in our community since 1974, helping to create healing experiences that acknowledge the uniqueness of each life. We can help you with every aspect of planning the perfect life-honoring tribute. Call 520.257.4831 today to learn more.