Remembering on Special Days

The loss of a loved one can be extremely painful, especially if you were very close. Sometimes holidays and other special days can deepen the pain of that loss. Birthdays, anniversaries and any other days that were significant to you and your loved one can be difficult. How can you manage the pain and promote healing?

Not only can you manage your own pain, you can turn that pain into something positive by doing something to mark the occasion and acknowledge your grief. There are many different options:

  • Pamper yourself. A day that you used to spend creating happy memories with a person you cared about is a perfect day for treating yourself well. Whether it’s a day at the spa or just some time with the phone off and reading a book in the bath, some sort of self-care can remind you of the care your loved one had for you.

  • Cook the person’s favorite meal. When you do something you used to do for your loved one, you’re honoring the memory and reminding yourself of happy times.
  • Plant a tree or a memory garden. A growing plant is a beautiful way to memorialize a loved one. It also provides a tangible space where you can reflect and remember.
  • Go through photos and remember the good times. You might just look at them and think about your history together or you might do something more proactive, such as making a scrapbook or digital slideshow. You might also consider inviting a friend or family member to go through the photos with you so you can share this meaningful time.
  • Light a candle in honor of your loved one . Sometimes, a little light can be a healing force. If you make a point to light a candle every year on the anniversary of a special date, the ritual can be comforting.

Sometimes the best way to alleviate pain is to focus outwardly, thinking of others. You may be able to find ways to honor your loved one by reaching out to others, and you can use your experience of mourning to help others work through their grief.

  • Donate to charity in your loved one’s name . Did the person have strong feelings about a particular cause? By donating to a meaningful charity, you’ll be furthering your loved one’s legacy.
  • Spend the day volunteering for a worthy cause. Work at a food pantry, read to children at a local library, run a 5k for charity or find another way to put your values into action. It feels good to give back, and you’ll be helping others in a concrete way.
  • Reach out to someone else who is grieving. Whether it’s through a support group, a ministry or a mentor program, you can find ways to use your experience to help someone else.

At Evergreen Mortuary and Cemetery, we know the importance of remembering. We can help you plan a meaningful service to honor the life your loved one lived, and we have grief support services to help you work through your own pain. Call (520) 399-6652 to learn more about all the ways we provide support, comfort, and care.