Coping with Valentine’s Day When You’ve Lost Your Spouse

Valentine’s Day is upon us, and for many, it’s a time to celebrate love. We dine with our sweethearts, give Valentine’s gifts to family members, and generally glory in all the people we hold dear. For someone who has recently lost a spouse, however, Valentine’s Day can be very difficult. Memories may crowd in, making the loss even more painful.

If you are a widow or widower, we grieve with you this Valentine’s Day. We know how hard this day can be, and how lonely you may be feeling. That’s why we’ve put together some suggestions to ease the pain and make the day a little bit easier:

  • Focus on taking care of yourself. Enjoy a favorite meal, schedule a spa day, or just make yourself a cup of tea and read. Plan something special, just for you, to make yourself feel good.
  • Think of the other loved ones in your life. Maybe you used to spend Valentine’s Day focused on time with your spouse, but try to think about others who could benefit from spending time with you. Maybe you could plan a movie date with a friend, invite someone to dinner, or make Valentine cards with your grandchildren. Celebrate the other loves of your life and everything they mean to you.
  • Take some time to remember good times with your spouse . Sometimes, remembering your spouse and the times you shared can be very healing. If it’s not too painful, you could spend some time on Valentine’s Day looking through old photos, dining at a restaurant you both enjoyed, or just remembering all the fun you’ve had in years past.
  • Get out of the house, and do something fun. Go outside, take a walk or treat yourself to an outing you’ll enjoy such as a movie or a massage. Make the day all about you and celebrating your life.
  • If you haven’t lost a loved one but know someone who has, this is a good time to reach out. Something as simple as a card, an invitation to lunch or a coffee date can brighten someone’s day and let them know you care. Surprise your friend with flowers, go for a walk, or have your child draw a picture. Find a small gesture that will make that person smile.

If you’ve lost a loved one, the pain and grief can be difficult to overcome, especially at Valentine’s Day. When that happens, it’s good to reach out for help, whether you call a friend or seek counseling. At Evergreen, we offer grief counseling to help you get through this difficult time. Call (520) 428-7438 or visit our website for more information.