Grieving a Loss: There’s No Expiration Date for Pain

Losing a loved one is never easy, and grief is different for every person who has suffered a loss. Although there are some commonalities, no one can truly know what someone else is going through, so no one can really predict when the pain will lessen. Some people “bounce back” quickly, while for others, the healing process takes a long time.

  • It’s important to refrain from telling someone that it’s time to move on or get over it. There’s no timetable for grief, and everyone’s recovery time is different. Some people start to feel better in a matter of weeks or months, while for others the bereavement period can go on for years. When you set a deadline for someone in mourning, it doesn’t help that person to learn to live through the loss. It’s insensitive, and it ignores the fact that grief often resurfaces on birthdays, holidays and other special days.
  • Sometimes grief changes instead of resolving. Life will never go back to normal for someone who has suffered a loss. It just becomes a new normal because the grief never goes away completely. It can shift, though, as a person learns to treasure the memories that used to be painful. By cherishing their loved one’s memory and honoring the legacy of the life that was lived, they’re able to set their grief aside and move forward.
  • What to do when grief becomes a cause for concern . Sometimes, people experience what’s known as complicated grief. When that happens, they become stuck in their pain, unable to function practically. Grief becomes a lifestyle, and the person may lash out in anger or have difficulty eating and sleeping. If you or someone you love seems to be experiencing complicated grief, it may be time to seek professional help.

If you can’t seem to get past your grief, our support team can help. We’re always there for you, no matter what time of day or day of the week you need us. Online, you’ll find counseling services, group grief support and interactive videos. We can also provide aftercare for those who have suffered a loss, and help to find a support group or counselor. Visit us online or call (520) 399-6652 to learn how we can help.

How to Plan a Life-Honoring Tribute for Your Loved One

For many people, the idea of a planning a funeral is overwhelming. Perhaps remembering the somber events of their childhood — where they sat in stiff clothing, unsure of what to say and afraid of doing the wrong thing — they put off even thinking about funerals until suddenly they are faced with an immediate need.

At that point, it can become a stressful situation during an already difficult time.

Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be that way. Today’s funerals are often more like life-honoring celebrations than the formal events of the past.

You can plan a tribute to your loved one that honors the life that was lived, and helps friends and family members begin to heal. Your funeral director will know just how to help you, but here are some points to consider:

  • Think about what made your loved one unique. If this person had a particularly meaningful job, that can be incorporated into the service, but much of your inspiration can come from your loved one’s musical tastes, hobbies, favorite movies, cherished mementos and so on.
  • Consider the tone your loved one would have enjoyed. Some people want their funerals to be solemn affairs, while others want an air of celebration. Some want readings of favorite texts, and some want a room filled with music. If you’re planning the service, you probably knew this person better than most. Picture your loved one in the room and ask yourself if he or she would be enjoying the service.
  • Involve the people who matter most. Family members may have their own ideas about how they’d like to be involved. Although the ideas presented to the funeral director should be unified, it doesn’t hurt to take suggestions as you’re making a plan about how people can participate in the service.
  • Find out about signature services offered by the funeral home. Sometimes, you can find the perfect gesture to make the service truly memorable. Perhaps it’s a DVD tribute or a dove release. Maybe it’s the type of vehicle that takes your loved one to the cemetery. Maybe it’s cremation jewelry that the family will treasure or an American flag in a case, to honor a veteran. Talk to your funeral director about what they have to offer, and choose a funeral home that meets your needs.
  • Consider preplanning for yourself. One way to alleviate the stress of planning a funeral is to plan it yourself in advance! Preplanning allows you to create the life-honoring tribute you’d like, and ensures that your family members will know how to carry out your wishes.

At Evergreen Mortuary, we believe a funeral should be a loving event that celebrates the choices your loved one made and the relationship you shared, while honoring the memory of a life well lived. Call us today at (520) 399-6652 to learn more about all we have to offer, or drop by for a visit to see our beautiful property.